As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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