i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
