I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
