never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
