weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize