Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize