ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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