just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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