gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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