I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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