You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
