just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
So squirting runs in the family.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
