There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wish there were birth control emojis
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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