it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
