If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
