I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
