Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
