that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
