I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
