He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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