I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My liver is preforming stress tests.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize