if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
