i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
