Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
