So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
