At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
