Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
