We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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