Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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