It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
