idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
