CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
