4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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