i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
