Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I don't think brook has ever known best
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
