Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize