Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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