Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
