Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
