so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
