i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
