Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
