You made me cry and you don't even care
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
