You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
