So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
