dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i used baking grease as lip gloss
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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