found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still dying that you shit outside
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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