Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
