The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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