it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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