ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
