hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
