wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
