How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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