all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
