i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
