My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is the high leading the old right now
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize