My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
