I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
