If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
