I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
