whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
