Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I think my moral compass just broke
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