I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
