he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
