some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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