Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize