So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
