we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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