We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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